The Times, They Are A-Changin'

It's now commonplace to see children being entertained by technology on public transport. Gone are the days when a repeated game of the simplistic classic, "Peek-a-boo" would have been the only thing to keep the wee ones occupied; it now takes little less than a tablet computer, gaming system with cinematic surround-sound and a realistic holographic of their favourite "In the Night Garden" character. Fitting all this onto the rear end of a stroller is understandably problematic. But it does the job. You can see why there is an emerging generation of iParents (the 'i' here of course standing for 'i only had this child to become a priority on the social housing register'.

Which leads me to poor Brandon and Jade. Stuck on a peasant wagon early in the morning with me, a load of commuters, their child Thalia and the box containing two hamsters on Jade's lap for company, you can see why they were looking for a quick get-out.

Brandon: Look at them dogs there, Thalia. Ain't they nice an' fluffy?
Thalia: IPHONE!!!!
Brandon: I ain't got enough memory for all yer apps, babe.
[Richard: This child has her own apps? She's an entrepreneurial genius!]
Jade: She wants the phone, babe. Just give her the phone, yeah?
Brandon: I'm just sortin' it, yeah babe?
[Richard: How confusing, a family where all the members are called 'Babe'. However do they know who is calling who in their house? Are they  such big fans of the film that they changed all their names by deed poll?]
Thalia: IPHOOOONE!!!!
[Richard: Hmmm, I think Jade's maternal instinct is spot on here. Baby wants the phone.]
Brandon: Right, it's ready.
[Richard: Oh thank goodness. I had better shimmy back from the edge of my seat.]
Brandon: Right, do you want some music, babe?
Thalia: YEAH!
[Richard: Cultural enthusiasm as well as entrepreneurial spirit. This girl is going to go places.]
Brandon: What do you want then, babe?
Thalia: LA LA LA
[Richard: A classic]
Brandon: Sorry babe, I ain't got no la la la.
[Richard: Hang on; that's a double negative. If he ain't got no la la la, then that means he does actually have some la la la. Is he deceiving his own child with grammatical devices? The rascal!]
Brandon (to Jade): Babe, did you get them johnnies for later, yeah?
[Richard: In hindsight, I possibly gave him too much credit...]
 Brandon: Right then, babe, I've got all your favourites here, what'll it be?
[Richard: Bach? Handel? Rachmaninoff?]
Brandon: Drake? Tinie Tempah? Eminem? 2Pac?
Thalia: 2PAC!! 2PAC!! 2PAC!!
[Richard: Ah....]