About This Blog

I am a visually impaired man. Because I can't always see what's going on, I keep my ears open. Sometimes, I hear some funny stuff, so I thought I would share them with you! Any thoughts I had during the exchanges are placed in square brackets and I'm sometimes even involved in the conversations myself. So remember, if you're talking - I'm listening...

Friday, 16 May 2014

Child's Play

I'm not proud of this one. It's a well known fact among my family and friends that I'm not the biggest fan of very young children. I just they would hurry up and learn to speak  so they can tell us what's wrong! I especially don''t like it when I'm trying to read and all that's filling my brain is the sound of crying. So here's an extract from a visit to a coffee shop:

[Richard: This book is really good and I've got ages until I have to meet my friend. Oh yes. Hmm, what's that noise?]
Junior: **various gurgling sounds and the occasional drizzle**
[Richard: Awww]
Junior: **getting increasingly agitated**
[Richard: I'll just read that bit again...]
Junior: Waaaaaahhhhhh! Waaaaaaaaaahhhh!
[Richard: Ooh - someone's not happy. I'll just read that bit again.]
Junior: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
[Richard: I'm really not going to be able to read this bit, am I?]
Junior:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
[Richard: OH, FOR THE SAKE OF GOODNESS, SOMEONE JUST SHOVE A TIT IN THAT INFANT'S MOUTH IMMEDIATELY!]

At times, patience is not my biggest virtue...

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